A Breakdown of a typical Ugandan Corporate Celebrity Logic

After watching Simon discuss the on-going election drama of MUK with Makerere’s Guild Presidential Candidates this morning on NTV, I am hereby inspired to share what I think about the mentality of the Ugandan Corporate Celebrity. I have nothing but respect for him by the way.

This is how you can become a Ugandan Corporate Celebrity;

PS: Khalifa Aganaga does not fall in this category. I am offended that you even thought he falls in this category.
I was saying…

  1. Go and get recognition for outstanding whatever it is you got famous for.
    This is the first most important part, make a name through hard honest work, until you are noticed.
    No doubt Simon has made his name & his worth increases with time.
    I bet he begun plying his trade back in his high school (SMACK) days, just to show that success is cultivated, young ones, so work/hustle hard and be the best.
    Any young corporate in Uganda has a few leaves to pick from his experiences.

  2. You have to frequent those fancy coffee shops, cafes, you just have to.
    You ask why? Because Simon is a regular at coffee shops.
    #facepalm you simpleton;
    Appreciation of the finer things in life, like those hot corporate ladies sipping on lattes that cost two decent lunches for you. Their suit tops, revealing just a bit of that expensive lace corset/bra.. Come back now, I repeat, just a bit..
    Those guys paying for their meals with a black card, that Benz with smoked-out lights parking outside the cafe.
    These things (pun intended) motivate a man, to even exceed such high standards.

  3. Suit up with that shoe which appears to have been amply smeared in Samona Jelly (Thumbs up here btw corporates.. Bravo)
    You need to look as good or even better than whatever come out of your mouth.
    The first first impression is how you look, that can make or break you.
    And they say you can tell a man from his shoes, so smear that shoe in Samona please and walk like a boss.
    Am sure we all agree Simon is a smart man, look where that got him.

  4. Corporate Parties/Cocktails… yes, those ones. Taste all those drinks you probably cannot pronounce.
    Seriously, like how do you pronounce Glenfiddich, Gruner Veltliner or the different Sauvignon wines…
    You don’t, you just enjoy them, Lol. (Yes, I can use Lol here, it’s my post)
    The importance of these cocktails is the difference from a coffee shop.
    At cocktails, people are more relaxed than at a fancy coffee shop. You can easily connect with a prospect or person of interest, especially when there is a little, “influence”.
    The sooner in your career you realize this, the better for you corporates.

  5. Get Fat
    This is where my problem is. Your cheeks puff out, your belly inflated, can’t wear skinny jeans because you will look like your fat aunty in pants…
    … that was a hard line huh? Good thing I have no fat aunty, if I have forgotten you aunty am sorry. I would have mentioned your name for recognition.
    So, some people think getting fat is a good thing, like it gives you this image of someone who is doing well or healthy..
    Okay, it does, to many people actually..
    But we both know how you look with your shirt off…

Anyway, that said,  this is just my opinionated opinion, I could be longing for the weekend so I am venting. You notice we are now on first name basis, me and Simon Kasyate, so I know the guy. No offence at all intended Simon, infact much respect. I watched you on NTV this morning, brilliant contribution as always. If you are offended, I will write specifically about fat corporates next time depends on if my boss gives me more time to be idle & share my rumblings.

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